Each year, Spartan Race tries new and interesting ways to bring in more attendance. This is done by trying to attract their previous attendees back – and looking for new markets who haven’t done a Spartan event before.
Recently, this took form of a “Spartan Delta” – which was either the worst planned marketing campaign ever, or an accidental leak of information. Or both. The internet rhetoric varied between “OMG! A NEW THING! I MUST HAVE THE NEW THING! I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT I WANT THREE!” to “meh”
and I found myself firmly in the “meh” realm. I could care less what this thing is. I’m not going to travel to get one, and I’m not going to put my personal $ or time down to chase it. A few years ago, I did travel. I did care.
And I got to wondering when that attitude shift happened. So I got to writing this slightly tongue in cheek, slightly autobiographical piece. As others read it, they identified with it too, so here you go – digest and enjoy.
Year One – I’ve registered for one of those extreme Spartan things. I think I’m going to die. Will someone hold my hand?
Year Two – I heard there’s this trifecta thing? I don’t know if I can do it. Wish me luck! Man, I’m setting an awesome example for my kid! My Facebook profile photo has never been so badass! and everyone is awesome! I NAILED THE SPEAR THROW!
Year Three – alright! Season pass time! I’m getting all the trifectas! I’m going to be the baddest ass Spartan ever! Can’t wait to try all the new things! Wait, what new things? Oh, another rope climb and spear throw and monkey bar setup? The view on this new mountain is good though. Yeah. The view. I miss my family. I don’t spend enough time with them.
Year Four – New season, new challenges! Maybe I’ll do a few less races this year though. That twelve hour road trip to the sprint in a parking lot was a long way … Oh, same rope climb and spear throw and monkey bar setup as last year, huh? At least I’m getting this years badass medal and shirt …
Year Five – I have too many f’in t shirts anyway. Time to pay off some credit cards …