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The most important Beast or Ultra Beast blog post you will ever read

The Beast is coming (or the Ultra Beast for many). Next weekend, folks!



And thats it. Thats your advice.

The weather may be hot, or cold. Sunny, or snowing. The mountains will be steep and seemingly endless, and the obstacles will be cruel and punishing.

You haven’t trained enough – no one has, even the elites – and regardless of what you pack, you will forget something you need.

When you get on the mountain, you’ll have over dressed – unless you have under dressed. Regardless, you won’t have enough clothes, or you have too many.

You may not be able to swim, or the walls will be too tall, and your feet will probably cramp at some point.

You may wrench an ankle, or wrench an IT band (or break your hand *Jess*), or get a blister.

A million and one things may go wrong – and a million and two things will be guessed at, speculated upon and simply made up. Facebook is not your friend this week, and don’t believe anything you read when it comes from a Spartan employee – especially that wily, pesky Don fella. Would you believe, they *want* you to panic?

Oh, and there may be bears.

Despite all this – all the things that *might* go wrong and *could* happen there is only one thing that is for certain – you will finish.

You’re crossing that finish line and earning that medal. Only ONE person can take that away from you – and thats you.

So – Don’t Panic. Bring a towel. Towels are important.


… a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: nonhitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet-weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

— Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

14 thoughts on “The most important Beast or Ultra Beast blog post you will ever read

  1. […] wise man once said…“Don’t Panic”. I know this. I accept this.I will not repeat last year’s mistakes.I made a lot of mistakes […]

  2. […] a post that sums up the entire pre-Killington experience – it basically boils down to “don’t panic” Go read it. It’s an important post that resonated with many. Maybe the most important […]

  3. I was fine until bears. Do we need Pic-a-nic baskets?

  4. If Facebook is not my friend, why did Facebook tell me to read this?

    Well played.

  5. Can we bring food to feed the bears? It's seems like a better idea than poking them. 😀

  6. i will not panic, however, is being petrified still legit?

  7. i will not panic, however, is being petrified still legit?

  8. Beer and peanuts are very important on such occasions also

  9. Still panicking?

  10. This got so STUPIDLY awesome at the end… 🙂

  11. Don't feed the trolls, Paul… 🙂

  12. You’re one hoopy frood, Paul Jones…

  13. Nice. When it comes right down to it, you're exactly right.

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